The Man with the Middle Name "L"

 Warney L. Pickering. Imagine the sickening moment when you realize that you legally named your child with a single letter. Growing up I thought my Great Grandma must have been blonder than me to make a mistake like that when naming her son. However, now that I'm a mother I find it strangely comforting to know I am not the only mom who makes major mistakes that will forever impact my child. While my Grandpa's middle name was intended to be "Lee" I find it ironic that the primary word that comes to mind when I think of him is Learn. To be completely honest, my Grandpa and I never had a great relationship. When asked if I have any positive memories my mind searches and searches only to find that most of my memories with my Grandpa bring up frustration to this day. However, in my reminiscing I've come to realize that the memories that I recall with such aggravation would very likely be seen by my Grandpa with fondness. So maybe they weren't bad memories after all. Maybe, it was just my point of view. 

You see, my Grandpa and I were both very opinionated, headstrong, stubborn people with a short fuse. My Grandpa preferred to think through things in a logical pattern (that still bends my mind) and I preferred to think through things driven by sheer emotion and feeling. His actions were calculated. Mine were a little like a headless chicken on Red Bull. He thought deep. I did too. Just about very different things. He liked things quiet and my two greatest gifts were existing loudly and playing the piano. So I suppose it isn't any wonder that within an hour of my arrival in their home Grandpa would typically retreat to his mancave or the garage! 

When I think back on time spent with my Grandpa I remember him packing us into the back of his yellow Service Master Van (sitting without a seatbelt on the floor with poisonous substances rattling all around us) and driving us to his favourite haunt: The Library. I remember the agonizing moments around the dining room table where he would close his eyes, search for a word and then send me for the Encyclopedia. "How do I know what Encyclopedia you want if I don't know what word you want?!" I'd ask with poorly masked disbelief. "Just bring me the one for 'B'" he would respond and within moments I was begrudgingly dragged into learning about something that I found as interesting as watching paint dry. I recall him thinking that "fun" looked like pulling out my math homework in the middle of Spring Break. I've since learned there are weird people in the world who actually like math and that this was not a true attempt to torture me. Or...that time that he decided I needed to learn how to read a map since I was nearing legal driving age so he pulled out a map of the country and asked me to figure out how long it would take to get from point A to point B. I remember his irritation when I insisted that GPS had made maps obsolete and his exercise was pointless. Maybe if I had actually listened to him I would not have found myself misled by a GPS that had me driving circles in the middle of a school bus parking lot at 9pm. But that's besides the point.

While many of the memories I hold are filled with educational moments that still make my stomach turn I can honestly say that one of the greatest things my Grandpa modelled for me was what it looked like to be a life long learner. He showed me that learning didn't just stop when spring break happened or when I graduated. Learning, staying curious, exploring the world were things that were worth loving and treasuring for a lifetime. Grandpa never stopped learning or tinkering or trying to fix things himself. He was always curious about all the aspects of an argument. He got a kick out of purposely arguing complete nonsense because it required me to have to strengthen my perspectives and beliefs. In each of those situations he was trying to share with me something that was special to him: a love of learning. I just missed the point. 

My Grandpa passed away February 7, 2024. He was the last of my grandparents and his passing closed and locked a strange door. A door which I had at one time walked through so freely. A door which once gave me constant access to the past, shaped my present and equipped me to flourish in the future. A door which only Grandparents can invite you through and through which treasures are offered only for a brief time.

As I look back on that door and contemplate it's vintage hardware I'm filled with thankfulness for those "bad" memories with Grandpa. For it is in those memories that I find his example reminding me that life is fleeting, the world's wonders cannot be harnessed by mere mortals and every life that touches mine has priceless purpose. So today I'll carry on his legacy by modelling for my daughters what it looks like to revel in curiosity, remain a teachable spirit and inspire others to passionately love learning.

It is a luxury to be able to look back on my Grandparents with thankfulness.  It is a gift to have been taught by them to think critically, to fight ignorance and to chase mystery with a curious smile. It was an honour to have Warney L. Pickering as a teacher.

 

                     In Memory of My Grandpa

                          Warney L. Pickering

                                   1929 - 2024