Joy In The Ashes

 "Are you ready?" The nurse asked as she prepared to push the scarlett red medication into my veins. I nervously chuckled. "As ready as I can be," I replied while my mind was seriously questioning what exactly I was supposed to be ready for. We chatted about nothing as the nurse slowly administered syringe after syringe of toxic chemical.  I felt fine as we left the cancer centre and began our trip home, yet, within about 15 minutes I was beginning to feel the effects. It was as if I was at the very start of a rollercoaster. Minute by minute I was coasting toward a drop with a severity that I could not predict. Then the plunge. A careening downward toward a bottom I couldn't see. A free fall into darkness. Nausea. Sickness. Terrifying dreams. Faces like clouds drifting in and out. Nausea. Days...Becoming Nights...Becoming Days. Nausea. Then a breath. Like surfacing from a deep dive light flooded my consciousness and clean air filled my lungs. A victorious moment...