Purpose in the Pandemic

Let’s be real. I’m a worst case scenario girl. You know, the kind that immediately runs to the worst possible “what if” in the drawer when a real threat arises? From the time I was a little girl I’ve battled with fear and worry. As a result history class, though fascinating, was not particularly helpful in easing the mind of this overdriven imagination. My 3rd grade teacher had no idea what kind of panic struck my heart when she stated, “History always repeats itself.” So in the spirit of complete disclosure I have spent many moments wondering when concentration camps, the great depression and the bubonic plague will cycle back into our history books. While most of us have laughed at the toilet paper crisis of 2020 a somber mood has suddenly descended on the globe as irrational panic has been replaced with pandemic. For most of us this is not the first “Black Swan” to arrive in our life span. However, this is likely the first that has threatened the globe on a personal and individual scale. 

As I watch the moment by moment intensification of isolation pass down from our national leaders the “what if’s” become bigger. Familial infection, job loss, economic collapse, rioting, my children’s futures. These are all topics that that swirl through my female, interconnected noodle of a brain. In amongst the questions stirs some that are quieter than the rest but potentially the most deadly: “What does God think He is doing? If He’s truly in control how could this be happening? Does He even have a purpose?”

Photo Credit: Abundant Joy Photography

The Bible holds a very interesting story in Luke 9:37-43 in which Jesus is approached by a man who’s “what ifs” had come true and he was truly living a nightmare. His only child was the physical home of a demon who was hell bent on destroying the little boy. The words the the father uses to describe what he has watched are horrifying. “'A spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out. It convulses him so that he foams at the mouth and shatters him, and will hardly leave him' (vs 39).” As a mother this tears at my heart. How deep would this man’s grief be each time he watched his child writhe and then lie “shattered” by this uncontrollable, other worldly inhabitant? The same nagging questions that are pressing into my current circumstances arise as I read this account. “What does God think He is doing? If He’s truly in control how could this be happening? Does He even have a purpose?”

The entire story in Luke 9 takes literally a paragraph worth of space but the finale is profound. Jesus grants the father’s plea to remove the demon and the boy is handed to his father whole and well. As if the author anticipated the questions of doubt that would slither through my mind he closes the story with an explanation in verse 43. “And all were astonished at the majesty of God.” In this short but mind blowing statement I’m reminded that my teacher was right. History always repeats itself. The circumstances may look different but one historical truth remains constant: God is fully in control of every circumstance with incomprehensible purposes so that all mankind will be astounded by His majesty. Collect all the black swans of history into one flock and you will find the same feather on each of them. God’s majesty on powerful display as it reveals our fragility and deep need for Him. 

So how do we combat the questions that rage during this time of overwhelming “what ifs”? How do we quiet our hearts while this uncontrollable, destructive, other worldly virus slips into our society? We rest in the assurance that God will repeat history in His faithfulness so that those who have rejected might question and those who have questioned might know and all who have rejected, questioned, and known might be astonished at their great need and the majesty of God. In this is hope.